I hate saying goodbye especially to my love ones. It brought me to tears seeing my beloved uncle suffering from cancer. Different emotions enveloped my being, sadness seeing him suffer, and joy as he share the passion of Jesus on the cross.
Often us people have a morbid fear of death, but I see death as an entry to life itself. For everything are temporal and will easily fade. I remember uncle Boy uttering my name, and he is always requesting me to read the bible in his death bed. Or perhaps to sing praises or healing songs just for him to ease the pain, as I gently sung those beautiful words of healing…
“I am beautiful… I am loved… I am forgiven by the mercy of God”. As I sung this short sacred song to my uncle over and over, I’ll just find him in a sound sleep. Sometime my spirit is drooping whenever he wanted me at his side and will call for me to talk about God’s love. I cannot think of a word to say but seeing my uncle suffer in pain make me arrived at the cross of Calvary, making me closer to God, in my mind, I am serving God through my uncle, reconciling with Him in my small way. Truly God uses us to the full if we will just allow ourselves just “to be” It brings me to deeper humility as I shared God’s love with my uncle. If he only knew that I benefit and learned more from his depressing situation, spiritually and psychologically. He is not a usual church goer, neither a man of prayer. But telling him that it is never too late to ask for repentance and mercy, for God’s love is infinite and steadfast. He asked me once, Raymond, what should I do for me to cope up? To be loved by God and for Him to bestow mercy on me a sinner, full of resentment and hatred in my heart? These questions always go around my head up to now. A question from a dying person. Well, what did I told him… I hold his hand, smiled at him and told him lovingly… What we should do for God to love us more? As I paused for a few seconds and look at him straight in the eyes …. NOTHING!…. For God’s love is infinite, eternal, steadfast, unchanging and encompasses everything. It cannot be less, just sufficient, for God is love. But human love change easily, God’s love never change.
At the age of 51 my uncle pass away, he reconciled with his parents, siblings and neighbors, likewise, with his immediate family. Moreover, experiencing the merciful love of God brought him to a peaceful death. Truly it is never too late to fall in love and be “IN” love with our Master, Healer and Friend… and that is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This great lesson in life taught me how marvelous God’s love for us all, how He hold us lovingly in the sunset of our lives. What awesome pardon in God’s sacred heart that is overflowing! How sweet to contemplate in it… That I am loved by God, He who loved me first.