As I sit and remain still during our mid-day prayer in the monastery, I experienced a sense of being one with the mountain, the air, the birds, the earth, everything! All are basic and I realized that simple faith was bestowed on me, simple understanding. I thank God for these little gifts of faith and understanding that I hold in my heart, that it made me easily understand the inter-connection of His divine creation. What a grace to understand the basic celestial knowledge of God’s existence in all these remarkable things, above the heavens, in the earth and under the waters. (I am not a saint, not a ghost, I am still alive okay)
Life is not always sunny but in the midst of storm, He who delighted my heart turned all dark moment that surrounded me into beautiful sacred moment. Everyday, I allow myself to progress into God’s marvelous life plan. I began to understand His divine love and mercy, and by experiencing these graces everyday, I am able to bestow and share it with others in simple and small ways that I knew.
I really thank Him for all the tribulations that I undergo during the past years of my life. I had witness that we can turn a bad day to sacred moment. By allowing ourselves to be “in” God’s loving presence. I don’t end or limit my experiences of sorrow, maybe tomorrow might be a more sorrowful experience for me, horrible! But one thing I have learned and want to highlight, turning sorrowful moment to glorious and joyful one’s.
Divine sweetness and tranquility of the soul is being savored in God’s embrace. I His unfaithful servant, filthy and ugly was embraced by His divine love and mercy. I believe one should experience rottenness that he may see God’s beauty even better. Because in my nothingness, for being rotten, I see nothing, I grasp on things I don’t know, walking in the path with no direction, blinded, helpless. And so I ask for help, my help comes from the Lord my refuge. And because He saw me in my distress, my humility brought me to His divine presence. He bathes me with purifying crown of thorns that make me land to know Him better. I thought suffering will end when I am in the midst of His court. But not, He purifies His beloved with this sweet pain. What a consolation of His grace!